Vampire Realities


Author: Dark Star

Summary: Buffy reflects on her new life.

Category: Humour. Sort of…

Rating: Gen.

Thanks to Jo for the beta.



Living with a vampire is certainly interesting.


Buffy puts down her mug and looks up, smiling at the festive decorations festooned from the ceiling. The coffee shop is crowded with excited shoppers and Christmas music is wafting from the radio. She is really looking forward to Christmas this year; She has  been living with Angel now for three months. It’s taken some getting used to, but, well… living with a vampire is certainly interesting. Hell, living with Angel is certainly interesting.  Mentally, and in no particular order, she goes through the pros and cons of such an arrangement.



Getting used to jars of blood at the back of her fridge.


But their food bill is really low.


Sometimes he cooks for her. Who knew he could do that?


Not being able to walk in the sunshine with him.


But really great sex with somebody who has loads of stamina.


Waking up in the night and wondering where he is.


Actual books on the bookcase. Shame some of them are in languages she doesn’t understand.


Having a partner she doesn’t need to pull her strength with.


Really, really, great sex.


Somebody to watch her back in a fight.


And sparring is really invigorating.


Having to keep some of the curtains drawn during the day so that Angel can get about the apartment.


But the sex is good.


And he’s really attentive to her every twenty-eight days.


He doesn’t mind how much she spends when she goes shopping.


But she has to keep the noise low during the day while he’s in bed.


She makes up for that when he rises, and he can’t get a word in edgeways.


But that’s okay, as he doesn’t say much anyway.


And who needs to talk in bed…?


He can be a broody bastard, though.


But sometimes he tells her fascinating stories of yesteryear.


And his memory is really good, so they never forget appointments or birthdays.


He spends longer in the bathroom than she does.


His singing takes some getting used to.


And they spend a fortune on hair products.


He washes her back in the bath.


And does that… vampire thing under the water. Well, he doesn’t need to breathe, does he?


She can’t get used to seeing all those sketches of herself.


But he’s teaching her to draw.


And the picture he made that hangs in the hall is beautiful.


His clothes are boring. So much black!


This is why she has to get those clothes off him at every opportunity.




Buffy stands abruptly, and bends to pick up the cluster of bright shopping bags at her feet. He’ll be waking up soon, and she wants to be there when he does. Yesterday she startled him, and he had her over his knee faster than she could get out a ‘Hello Angel’. She smiles at the memory and she looks wistfully at the new hairbrush – with a really flat wide head – that she’s just bought. Perhaps she can startle him again? Not that she really needs an excuse, as he has loads of experience and the sex is really good.


Has she mentioned that??